43 Comments

Moonlight Sonata

The lightning flashed, illuminating her pale hands on the keyboard.  Eyes closed, she gently swayed back and forth as she played the Beethoven sonata.  The somber notes and the pounding rain on the roof a symphony of melancholy.  Then he was there, in the darkness, beside her on the piano bench.  He twirled a piece of her hair around his fingers, nuzzled her neck.  Eyes still closed,  she smiled and played on, both of them swaying in time now.

“Moonlight Sonata–my favorite,” he whispered, his breath warm on her neck.

“Yes,” she whispered.  “I know.”

He brushed his lips gently down to her bare shoulder.  With every angel kiss and caress her breath quickened and her hands slowed.

“Please, don’t stop,” he begged.  She found the rhythm again, the flow of the left hand, the accents of the right, playing it perfectly–for him.   He stroked her arm, his touch as gentle as the breeze blowing the trees outside the window.  Her eyes closed tighter now as the sonata reached its pinnacle of sadness and loss.

“So beautiful,” he murmured into her ear.  ” I want to take you there.”

“Where?” the question barely audible above the deluge outside.

“To the moon, love.  We’d bathe in moonbeams beside the Sea of Tranquility.  Alone.  Forever.”

Tranquility–Calm, quiet, serene.  With him.  She sighed.

The sonata was coming to an end now.  Darker.  Slower. Intense.  She was no longer swaying.  No longer smiling.  Her eyes squeezed tight and her mouth contorting with every troubled note.  No more kisses  on her shoulder, no more twirling of her hair.  A thought dancing on the edge of her mind as she continued to play.  The accented notes like knives to her heart.  Slow and painful jabs, at first quiet and then steadily growing louder, threatening to break open her chest.

Not wanting to finish the piece, but every note bringing her closer to the end.

“Please, don’t stop,” he begged again, his voice faint and far away, nearly lost in the pounding rain.

“But it’s the end,” she breathed.  Her hands continued on to the inevitable conclusion.  “Take me with you.  Take me to the moon,” she begged.

Two final heartbreaking chords rang in the empty room.  A gust of wind blew the rain through the open window.  The lightning flashed, illuminating her pale shoulders slumped over the keyboard.  Eyes closed, her body shook, as the rain beat down and the thunder rolled.

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read to be read at yeahwrite.me

On Monday, Angela reminded us all: “… own your words, embrace your strengths, and believe in your writing.”

I gave you have 500 words to write a piece, fiction or non-fiction, which includes the phrase “to the moon.”

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This was inspired by one of my favorite pieces of music, Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata.”  At the suggestion of someone on YouTube, I listened to “Moonlight Sonata” and “Rainy Mood” at the same time.  It really is a lovely combination and it made me want to try something different.  I’ve never written anything remotely like this before, so be kind.

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43 comments on “Moonlight Sonata

  1. Wow! Very nice. I was there, in the room, feeling it. The ending wasn’t something I would have seen coming.

  2. Ah, the loss, the pain in this piece! How heartbreaking. I would love to know the story behind this!

  3. I really enjoyed this post. I was in the room and yes nice unpredictable ending. I want to read more of this story.

  4. Music and moonlight and sweet torture. This was sublime.

  5. I have to be honest, and I wasn’t “familiar” with the piece. When I played it, I recognized it, but I am hopelessly uninformed about classical music.

    That being said, you made me FEEL like I could hear it as I read, with your notes about pacing and mood laced throughout.

    The ending was unexpected, and it seems like there’s so much more here that you didn’t yet explore.

    • That’s why I included the video. I figured most people have at least heard it, even if they don’t know what it’s called. I’m happy you got the tone of it, anyway. It’s not easy to describe music, is it?

  6. I thought this piece was very good as a stand-alone, but it also holds the potential to be developed. This line: “The accented notes like knives to her heart” was particularly evokative, I thought. Knowing the piece, it was easy to hear it in my head as I was reading.

  7. OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I wanted a different ending! This one was gorgeously written, and I love the idea, but I already was in love with your character and I wanted her wishes to come true!

  8. This was a great post! Moonlight Sonata is one of my favorite Beethoven pieces! I felt every emotion that you wrote about. It was very sad, and angry, passionate and full of despair, just like the music. -Great job!

  9. All I have to say is: wow. Intense, passionate, and a beautifully tragic twist of an ending. Bravo.

    While I am curious to know more of this story, I also feel this piece would work well on it’s own. Truly marvelous writing.

  10. Oh my! What a way to start my morning. Very sexy. You have me so intrigued — I am hoping this becomes a novella, at least. Nice work.

  11. Very well written. Lovely story; so bittersweet.

  12. Beautiful.

    You portrayed the scene so well. I could hear her playing. And his whispers. Growing fainter.

  13. Moonlight Sonata is one of my favorite classical pieces as well. I think you captured the mood and energy of the music exquisitly here. How beautiful yet heartbreaking. Excellent job!

  14. Amazing. Your words take the reader to crescendo with the characters. There seemed to be so much going on here. Nicely done!

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse, road tripping through the #atozchallenge participants!

  15. This was amazing! I was gripped by your words. You have the workings of a story untold here!

  16. wow, that was power packed with emotion, with the music and rain playing as I read.

  17. Lovely piece of writing. Now I want it rain so listen to Moonlight Sonata, but since I live in SoCal, I may have to wait a while.

  18. Beautiful writing! (But a sad ending…)

  19. That was so beautiful! Ugh…the end… sadness.

  20. That was beautifully written! I loved it despite the sad ending.

  21. Wow, this was simply beautiful. I imagined an awesome romantic novel coming out of this story. The ending was so sad.

  22. Haunting and just lovely.

  23. Definately haunting. In fact, I found myself wondering if he was her lost love as a spector who haunted her. Nice piece!

  24. I haven’t played Moonlight Sonata in close to thirty years…
    You made me want to again.

    Oh yes.

  25. You write beautifully. I read this at least 3 times.

    Moonlight Sonata is one of my favorite pieces to play. I will think of this story the next time I play it.

    Great post.

  26. That was really beautiful. Just like with the music, I felt the words playing in my mind.

  27. Thanks everyone for the lovely comments. Maybe I will tell more of this story.

  28. I played Moonlight Sonata all the time as a kid. It was my go-to song whenever I sat down at a piano (I was a dark child). 😉

    I love the ending. Would enjoy reading more.

  29. Loved this! Very haunting and beautiful.

  30. YOu did an awesome job setting up a very sultry and intense mood. Excellent piece. Thank you!

  31. Seems like these characters want more room to have their story spin out… just please, please, don’t make one of them be a vampire : )

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